


Nobody's Watching

by crashingskyline



Series: Five [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Bottom Oh Sehun, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut, Top Kim Jongin | Kai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 05:34:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12905184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashingskyline/pseuds/crashingskyline
Summary: Cracking open a cold one and indulging Sehun while blaming himself about everything seems fine with Kai.





	Nobody's Watching

**Author's Note:**

> Reeally mild t/w for sex under the influence of alcohol on Kai's side and strong pain medication on Sehun's, and there's also a small mention of death and hard drugs, beware if you're very sensitive. There's another oneshot of this au series that might make this more understandable, read if you want to. Please do listen to the songs listed below though, hope you enjoy :3

[ Hollywood Undead - Renegade ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1wKDlVzgUY)

 

[ Hollywood Undead - Nobody’s Watching ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Nl5xDNXIs)

  
  
  
  
  


Kai has no idea why Sehun keeps on wanting him close, tugging at the loose clothing drenched in gas and oil, pulling him near. Why does he wish for such a fuck up to cradle him close and hold him tight?

 

Fear has no face, fear has no shape, it comes and goes as it pleases. He knows that, but yet he is still shocked by the look of fear on Sehun’s face every time he loses his temper and messes up the place, throws things around and makes the younger protect himself with a pillow to his chest, hidden under the bed from him.

 

Nevertheless, as he goes and comes, just like the fear, the apartment has been cleaned, a pale weakling sitting on the armchair in the corner with a sweet smile like nothing happened. Sometimes he wonders if Sehun stays because he doesn’t know of anything better. 

 

Kai embraces the kiss of death every time he leans in and apologizes, sometimes means it, sometimes not, holding the devil himself on his chest. Sehun is a white dove, tainted black with the smoke and ashes, flying with the weight of his fuck-ups. 

 

Though he wants to watch them burn, so the devil he calls love can wait.

 

The morning is chilly, humid, the sun won’t rise for an hour or two. Sehun is wrapped in three layers of clothing, curled inside a duvet and a warm blanket, but somehow he manages to feel cold, wrapping them around himself tighter as he sleeps and hopefully dreams of things he can’t provide the boy.

 

The times the older is able to get home before Sehun’s medication knocks him out for a few hours, he slides inside the covers with his dirty hands and hair, letting the younger grasp him and get all the warmth he needs.

 

Not that Kai minds him clinging onto him with his weak fingers and long legs, but he should be all alone, chanting the thousand words in the calluses of his palm to empty spaces. He is a heaven’s mistake waiting to erupt and collapse and take Sehun with him.

 

The younger’s chocolate button eyes open, blinking at him cutely and with the sleepy haze of morning in them, pupils blown with the intense pain medication. No greeting is needed as Kai trails his fingers along the younger’s cheek bone, sliding down along the protruding tendons to the thin collarbone. He’s known to tear shit up and go off like a gun, but Sehun melts the bravado away with just a look.

 

Sehun is malnourished and probably dehydrated, but insists that he is fine, smiling with not even half of the energy his smile used to have. Kai thinks he is brave, brave for staying and suffering and not going back to the streets with dirty needle in his arm. 

 

Lithe arms extend from the piles of fabric, clutching onto the rough fabric of Kai’s trousers, smudged with dirt from crawling on the dirty floors of the garages. His grip is weak enough for him to resist the pull, but he lets himself fall on the bed atop his lover, two pieces of the puzzle slotting together easily. Sehun’s smile is sweet and airy, eyes crinkling to two small crescents, nose scrunching when the older drops a peck atop it.

 

He’s reaching for something he can not reach, out of his grasp, but is brave enough to lean down to capture the younger’s chapped lips, adding to the list of mistakes he has made. It feels like they’re tattooed on his skin, things he cannot erase in this lifetime. Kai lets himself be comforted from the slow circles Sehun is drawing onto his back, letting voiceless gasps and pleas wash through his body with the movements.

 

Sehun smiles when he pulls himself apart, heartbreakingly sweet and Kai, for a second, for just a tiny moment, feels like he is conquering these demons, turning a page and looking how far he’s gone, but when Sehun’s lips part and all of the things he has to say, die and come out as air, he grows more bitter. He will never tell him back how much he loves him, never sing with him like nobody’s watching them run along the endless stretches of sand and sea, hair wet and lungs full of salt scented air.

 

He just cannot bring himself to think that his lover’s silence doesn’t equal a numb heart and deaf ears. In Kai’s mind, somewhere there, nobody’s listening. If he could ever bring enough money to feed them both and afford Sehun’s medicine and for once not take the younger’s offering for his portion of the meal to go through the day of hard work and leave Sehun alone home, some days not strong enough to get himself a glass of water.

 

Some days he values his worth just by the misery he brings the younger as he looks at his protruding bones and breath that certainly would give off a rattle if he wasn’t mute by birth. It’s disgusting to think of the things Sehun can’t say out loud. Sign language gets them to communicate enough, but it just is so fake, artificial. There is just so much left unsaid, too much slipping away like sand by every unspoken phrase.

 

“I’ll go grab a drink, wait for me” Kai smiles gently, sliding away from under the covers. He has a habit of drinking way too much and screwing Sehun over various surfaces, barely sober enough to tuck them both to bed, the hangover following the next day rendering him useless when it comes to detail work in the garage. Those days he wonders how Sehun is doing alone in their small apartment, mind supplying images of him in various states of mind, from healthy and glowing to a crying, beaten up mess in the corner.

 

Kai walks to the kitchen, opening their fridge and grabbing a can of cheap beer, cracking it open and downing it in one go. He hopes Sehun won’t startle at the crunch of the metal as he crumples the can with his hand, tossing it to the sink. He never knows what the other thinks about the sudden noises, how badly has he already fucked the other up. Somehow, he doesn’t even want to think about it.

 

He grabs a couple cans, a couple more, kicks the fridge’s  door shut, and walks back to the bedroom, mind wandering uncharted paths. Sehun is out of it, drawing images in the air, hand extended while he lies on his back. The beer tastes horrible in his mouth, but he forces it down. It’s too much to see him hallucinating while his mind is completely clear, even if he makes stupid choices and hurts Sehun while under the influence. He finishes another can, dropping it onto the ground. 

 

The younger notices the other returning, blown pupils and glowy skin shining at him, a blinding smile stretching his small mouth. It’s too bad he only smiles like it whenever he’s not crying inside in excruciating pain. Kai would wish to have the other like that, reddened cheeks not from medicine, but a healthy blush from a raunchy joke exchanged in the wee hours of the night. Unreachable fantasies, Kai hasn’t yet accepted the truth.

 

He sits on the edge of the bed, placing his hand on Sehun’s ribcage. Warm feeling spreads through his body when the other grabs it with both hands and smiles at him, eyes not quite looking straight at him, only partly caused by the alcohol slowly seeping into his circulation from the third can getting drained down his esophagus, alcohol stinging his empty stomach unpleasantly. Sehun’s lips part and he mouths something, the muscles twitchy and clearly not thoroughly in control of the movement, but it’s unmistakable. Kai places yet another empty can on the nightstand.

 

“Hi” Kai smiles back and rubs the other’s bare chest, covers having slipped down, revealing protruding ribs and a caving stomach. Sehun manages to look beautiful. Kai doesn’t accept the fact it’s the fifth can talking. Sehun’s body is nothing beautiful, malnourished and ugly, and he shouldn’t be turned on by it the singlest bit. It is what it is, he won’t hold his tongue. His ribcage hitches under Kai’s hand slightly, voiceless giggle spilling into the air.

 

Though the second Sehun moves the calloused palm so that his thumb is just shy of touching his nipple, the thought is wiped out from his mind completely. Sehun arches into the touch, both hands wrapped around the tan wrist as he plays with the perked nub, smirk tugging at his lips as he gulps down the beer. The day long fast is doing a great job getting him drunk unusually quick. He hopes that if Sehun was healthy, he wouldn’t mind this.

 

With pain medication so hard it alters the mind, Kai is pretty sure fucking the person counts as rape, but there’s zero fucks given as he leans down and sucks at the other one, tongue laving at the whole pectoral and moving to treat the other too. He’s learned not to give a fuck about what others think, and in the end, Sehun doesn’t have much time to begin with, so why to keep him without the pleasures of the flesh because of it. It’s Kai who will weep on his grave for days, not the other way.

 

His tongue drags flat along the other nipple, the bud perking up and hardening under the muscle as he swirls it around, both hands gripping Sehun’s tiny waist hard enough to make them throb, just how Sehun likes it. The younger’s hand is shaky when he lifts Kai’s chin, glazy eyes pleading for a kiss or two. Kai is happy to oblige.

 

Two lips slide together, tasting of cheap chocolate, a luxury Kai reserves for Sehun only, mixing with the beer, wet noises filling their space as Kai crawls over him. “You can touch” the older smiles when he notices the other’s hands grasping air uselessly. The movements are weak and fluttery, joints stiff, unnatural. 

 

Sehun’s thin legs part, sliding Kai’s thick thigh between them. The older smiles a little, pulling the other even closer, something hard sliding along the warm thigh, rough fabric catching on the skin. The younger’s lust comes out as a need, rather than a carnal feel, craving for someone to help him without him having to explain anything. Kai doesn’t know it, but Sehun wants nobody to listen, make him feel helpless and alone, until something breaks and he climbs atop the mountain and takes care of himself.

 

He’s pressing up the other, slowly rocking his hips in a clumsy motion, slightly unfamiliar. He’s used to staying in place and letting others take the lead, but now he’s feeling  _ needy, _ hands grasping for purchase, moving on his own. A fond feeling spreads along Kai’s chest before it sinks down as flowing blood, cock hardening up quickly. Usually he has a rush of adrenaline that makes him flip Sehun over, claim his lips and reach for the bottle of lube.

 

This time he just feels warm, the bed creaking softly as Sehun’s lips part and he thrusts against his thigh faster. He knows that it won’t take him long to roll over and rut against the mattress, back arching beautifully. Sehun is so easy sometimes. 

 

He guesses right, it takes just a minute or two of frotting and Sehun is pushing himself off, rising on his knees and elbows, face pressed against the cheap fabric of his pillowcase. The boxer briefs look soaked around the bulge, precome sticking the material to the skin. This is one of the moments when Kai wishes he could hear the other moan. His lover’s face is expressive, and it gauges something out of him every time his lips part and nothing comes out.

 

Kai pushes it somewhere away, far far away and curls his body over the other, a stark contrast between Sehun’s sickly pale and his glowing tan skin. He reaches for the lube as he tugs down the other’s underwear hastily, two fingers spreading out the younger’s rim, dipping deep inside the velvety walls. Sehun is so tight, wrapped tightly around his calloused digits, writhing and thrusting into the air fruitlessly.

 

The message is as clear as it can be when he spreads his knees and arches his back, head turning to send Kai a demanding look, eyebrows scrunched and lips curling in a pout. The illusion is broken by his hazy eyes, his medicine glazing them over. These moments make Kai forget that normal people don’t do this, normal people speak and consent and don’t fuck while the other is barely able to move. He grabs a can and downs it to flush the thoughts to hell.

 

Kai kneels behind the other, inching in bare. Sehun is not prepared enough, but with the numbness he doesn’t care about any pain, just opens his mouth and closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to dig deep inside of himself and let it all out, but that’s all he can do when the younger pushes his hips back, clenching and basically sucking the other inside. The moments Kai realizes how sick Sehun looks are long forgotten as he decides to say fuck to peace and quiet, draws his hips back and slams in, the movement knocking Sehun out of breath and ramming the bed against the wall so hard it resonates through the room.

 

The older wraps his large hands around the tiny waist below him, holding Sehun’s frail body in place with ease as he plows into him from behind. Sehun is  _ writhing  _ below him, and though Kai can’t see, Sehun’s lashes are clumped together with tears, dripping down on the fabric. His hair is messy and has tangles all over it, but still pretty. The rhythm picks up properly, the angle just right to hit Sehun’s prostate and make him come untouched after a minute, partly because of the medication making him sensitive.

 

Sehun looks back over his shoulders, eyes red and puffy, still pretty, and clenches his muscles around Kai’s cock, smiling hazily at the hiss it draws out of him. Sehun loves noise, loves other people’s voices and wants to lie on Kai’s chest forever feeling up the vibrations from the sounds. He tries to be too busy giving up so Kai would just  _ leave  _ already and not care so fucking much. There could be a wonderful needle in his arm and happy thoughts inside his head, heart tucked safely in his chest so no such wonderful person could steal it the way Kai did.

 

His hazy mind goes along with the thrusts, catching on the strings of thought just before another thrust strokes along something over sensitive, and he starts all over again, grasping the broken dreams, hoping to be alone. Kai curls over him, bangs grazing Sehun’s pale skin, tickling pleasantly. He moans loudly, hips stuttering, eyes squeezing shut as white hot pleasure washes over his body and mind.

 

Spurts of come fill Sehun up, the loud thumping now bare creaks of old springs from Kai’s slow rocks, riding out his orgasm to the full extent. Sehun smiles to himself, resting his head on the bed, knees slowly straightening as Kai’s cock slips out of him and gives out a last bit of come on the other’s lower back. Sehun is trying to compose himself, but every thought feels like it’s out of his grasp, the only thing keeping him from falling unconscious the crack of metal as his lover opens up another.

 

Kai smiles a little bit. Maybe it’s not that bad, after all. He flops down on his back, Sehun dragging himself to lie on him, hanging by a thread. Kai laughs out loud when he swirls his finger over his mouth and rubs along his own chest whilst smiling sweetly. Kai indulges him happily, chugging down some beer and letting words come out of his mouth, hands in his hair until Sehun falls asleep.

 

They have gone far together, but the book’s pages are about to end. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Heh. Hi. Yep, my favourite band's new album equals new lyrics and new lyrics equals inspiration and this little shit has been sitting in my folders for way too long. And um, I didn't proofread because it's late and I'm lazy 
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and comments are very much appreciated, and needed~


End file.
